Monday, April 9, 2012

black + white = grey

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I know I hurt with silence and for that I am truly sorry.  I tried to explain, several times and all I ever got in return was take your time.  You said you understood, when really you didn't and there should have been conversations and curiousity, but there was none....and by conversations and curiousity, I mean with me, not with them.  Not blind leading blind, anger leading anger.  I sought help, why didn't you?  I assumed all was ok (assumed...ass...you..me...yes, I learned that lesson the hardest way) but you all have hurt with harsh actions and continue to do so even today.  I am not a robot...I have feelings and hurt more than most, I suspect.  I wish I wasn't so attuned to the subtleties floating in the air like dust particles that only adoptees can see, but I do.  I was born that way...something of which you will never, ever understand unless you try.  Why won't you try?
I reside in the gray and all you can see is the black and white.  All of our hearts are broken, but the diffference between us is that, even after all of this, I'm still willing to try.

Dammit...it's a Monday.

1 comment:

  1. damn, all I can say to this one is - yep, I get it and I'm sooo durn frustrated that it's so hard for others to get it too.

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