When someone asks me what it is like to be adopted (and/or why adoptees search), I ask them to read a book beginning with Chapter Two and then I ask them to tell me:
...if it made sense?
...if it felt complete?
...if it felt like something was missing?
Then I ask them to read their baby book, but to skip the first half...start at page ten, when the pictures begin anywhere from 6 months to 1 year old and then I ask them to tell me:
...if it felt strange?
...if it felt off-kilter?
...if it felt like something was missing?
...if they wondered what they looked like at birth?
...if they wondered about themselves at birth and the months following?
...if they wondered who took care of them during that crucial time of child development?
...if they wondered who took care of them during that crucial time of child development?
Then I ask them to xerox their birth certificate. I ask them to give the original to a random stranger with explicit instructions to never allow them access unless a judge in a court of law allows access or if a state law is passed allowing them access. On the xerox, I ask them to take a sharpie and blacken out their name and their parents name and write in random names of people they don't know. I ask them to write at the top in large bold letters AMENDED and then I ask them to tell me:
...did it feel wrong?
...did it feel false?
...did it feel like a lie?
...did it feel unfair?
Then I tell them...that is what it's like being adopted.
xo Two
Freedom dandelion print by the beautiful artist Sara Olmos' & can be purchased from her etsy shop teconlene
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